FAQs
Browse our list of frequently asked questions.
Sexual abuse is when someone forces or persuades you to take part in sexual activities. Any type of unwanted sexual contact is sexual abuse. Forcing or pressuring someone to do something they don’t want or consent to is sexual assault. That includes taking advantage of you when you’re intoxicated, asleep, or under the influence of drugs. Sexual abuse doesn’t have to be physical contact, and it sometimes happens online. It is never ok. You don’t have to put up with it. If you are experiencing abuse, you may feel frightened or ashamed, but you are not alone and it is not your fault.
Types of sexual abuse:
Contact abuse
Contact abuse is where an abuser makes physical contact with a child or forces the child to make physical contact with someone else. This includes:
- sexual touching of any part of a child’s body, whether they’re clothed or not
- using a body part or object to rape or penetrate a child
- forcing a child to take part in sexual activities
- making a child undress or touch someone else.
Contact abuse can include touching, kissing and oral sex – sexual abuse isn’t just penetrative.
Non-contact abuse
Non-contact abuse is where a child is abused without being touched by the abuser. This can be in person or online and includes:
- exposing or flashing
- showing pornography
- exposing a child to sexual acts
- making them masturbate
- forcing a child to make, view or share child abuse images or videos
- making, viewing or distributing child abuse images or videos
- forcing a child to take part in sexual activities or conversations online or through a smartphone.
There is support available from people who will believe you and understand how devastating abuse can be. Recognising that you are being or have been abused is the first step to getting help and making changes in your life.
You can contact YWHP for advice and support. Please make sure you are in a place where you feel free to talk for a few minutes at least.
Abuse can happen at any age, regardless of your gender identity, sex or sexual orientation. There are often warning signs that a relationship is toxic or abusive and abusers may be jealous, may isolate you from friends and eventually be physically violent or make you do things you’re not comfortable with. Toxic relationships can start with ‘love bombing’ which can make you feel special and loved to start with but can signal that someone is controlling or obsessive. If you are in a toxic or abusive relationship, we can help.
It is normal to sometimes argue and fall out with your partner, but no-one should ever feel scared, controlled or uncomfortable in a relationship.
Abuse does not have to mean that someone is physically hurting you; abuse can also be emotional, psychological, financial or sexual.
You may be confused because there are parts of that relationship that you like and that feel loving, and your partner may sometimes feel like your best friend, but if they behave in a way that means you feel scared or uncomfortable, then it is not OK. It may be that they are putting pressure on you to do something that you don’t want to do, which might include doing things online.
If you are in a relationship with someone that you think may be abusive, we can support you for free and in confidence. We will never tell you what to do, but we will talk with you about what is going on for you, discuss your options and help you to stay safe. We will only ever share information with anyone if you tell us something that means you or someone else is at risk of being hurt.
Warning signs of abusive relationship:
- Checking your phone, email, or social media accounts without your permission.
- Putting you down frequently, especially in front of others.
- Isolating you from friends or family (physically, financially, or emotionally).
- Extreme jealousy or insecurity.
- Explosive outbursts, temper, or mood swings.
- Any form of physical harm.
- Possessiveness or controlling behaviour.
- Pressuring you or forcing you to have sex.
You can contact YWHP for advice and support. Please make sure you are in a place where you feel free to talk for a few minutes at least.
Follow this link to hear a survivor’s story of escaping the trap of an abusive relationship:
Watch Escape The Trap – Love is Nice animation.
Domestic abuse occurs when one person uses threatening, violent or abusive behaviour to control another person that they are having or have had a relationship with. This could be a partner, spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend or a family member. It is not only couples who experience abuse. Sometimes, family members are abusive to each other e.g. a son may hit his mother, or parents may try to force their daughter into an unwanted marriage.
Domestic abuse can be emotional, physical, sexual, economic, coercive or psychological, such as:
- kicking, hitting, punching, cutting or throwing objects
- rape (including in a relationship)
- controlling someone’s finances by withholding money or stopping someone earning
- controlling behaviour, like telling someone where they can go and what they can wear
- not letting someone leave the house
- reading emails, text messages or letters
- threatening to kill someone or harm them
- threatening another family member or pet.
Abuse can start in quite subtle ways. For instance, your partner may start to text you often, question your friendships or say cruel things about the way you behave or look. Abuse often becomes worse over time and can progress to constant harassment, belittling and physical violence. It can seriously harm children and young people, and experiencing domestic abuse is child abuse.
It’s important to remember that domestic abuse:
- can happen inside and outside the home
- can happen over the phone, on the internet and on social networking sites
- can happen in any relationship and can continue even after the relationship has ended
- both men and women can be abused or abusers.
- domestic abuse can happen to anyone – it is not related to where you live, your background or ethnicity.
You can contact YWHP for advice and support. Please make sure you are in a place where you feel free to talk for a few minutes at least.
Grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them.
Children and young people who are groomed can be sexually abused, exploited or trafficked.
Anybody can be a groomer, no matter their age, gender or race. Grooming can take place over a short or long period of time – from weeks to years. Groomers may also build a relationship with the young person’s family or friends to make them seem trustworthy or authoritative.
Types of grooming
Children and young people can be groomed online, in person or both – by a stranger or someone they know. This could be a family member, a friend or someone who has targeted them – like a teacher, faith group leader or sports coach.
When a child is groomed online, groomers may hide who they are by sending photos or videos of other people. Sometimes this’ll be of someone younger than them to gain the trust of a “peer”. They might target one child online or contact lots of children very quickly and wait for them to respond.
The relationship a groomer builds can take different forms. This could be:
- a romantic relationship
- as a mentor
- an authority figure
- a dominant and persistent figure.
A groomer can use the same sites, games and apps as young people, spending time learning about a young person’s interests and use this to build a relationship with them. Children can be groomed online through:
- social media networks
- text messages and messaging apps, like Whatsapp
- text, voice and video chats in forums, games and apps.
Whether online or in person, groomers can use tactics like:
- pretending to be younger
- giving advice or showing understanding
- buying gifts
- giving attention
- taking them on trips, outings or holidays.
Groomers might also try and isolate children from their friends and family, making them feel dependent on them and giving the groomer power and control over them. They might use blackmail to make a child feel guilt and shame or introduce the idea of ‘secrets’ to control, frighten and intimidate.
It’s important to remember that children and young people may not understand they’ve been groomed. They may have complicated feelings, like loyalty, admiration, love, as well as fear, distress and confusion. You can contact YWHP for advice and support. Please make sure you are in a place where you feel free to talk for a few minutes at least.
Child sexual exploitation (CSE) is a type of sexual abuse. It happens when a child or young person is coerced, manipulated or deceived into sexual activity in exchange for things that they may need or want like gifts, drugs, money, status and affection. Children and young people are often tricked into believing they’re in a loving and consensual relationship so the sexual activity may appear consensual. This is called grooming and is a type of abuse. They may trust their abuser and not understand that they’re being abused. CSE does not always involve physical contact, and can also occur through the use of technology.
Children and young people can be trafficked into or within the UK for sexual exploitation. They’re moved around the country and abused by being forced to take part in sexual activities, often with more than one person. Young people in gangs can also be sexually exploited.
Sometimes abusers use violence and intimidation to frighten or force a child or young person, making them feel as if they’ve no choice. They may lend them large sums of money they know can’t be repaid or use financial abuse or blackmail to control them.
Anybody can be a perpetrator of CSE, no matter their age, gender or race. The relationship could be framed or viewed as friendship, someone to look up to or romantic. Children and young people who are exploited may also be made to ‘find’ or coerce others to join groups.
It’s important to recognise that although the age of consent is 16 years old, children and young people over 16 can be exploited. Child sexual exploitation is a very complex form of abuse. It can be difficult for parents and carers to understand and hard for the young person to acknowledge that they are being exploited.
You can contact YWHP for advice and support. Please make sure you are in a place where you feel free to talk for a few minutes at least.
Trafficking is where children and young people tricked, forced or persuaded to leave their homes and are moved or transported and then exploited, forced to work or sold. Children are trafficked for:
- sexual exploitation
- benefit fraud
- forced marriage
- domestic slavery like cleaning, cooking and childcare
- forced labour in factories or agriculture
- committing crimes, like begging, theft, working on cannabis farms or moving drugs.
Trafficked children experience many types of abuse and neglect. Traffickers use physical, sexual and emotional abuse as a form of control. Children and young people are also likely to be physically and emotionally neglected and may be sexually exploited.
You can contact YWHP for advice and support. Please make sure you are in a place where you feel free to talk for a few minutes at least.